A Reason Why I’m Sad

Deborah Kristina
3 min readMar 20, 2018
Photo Credit: The Purple Fig

One main reason to be sad

is when you have heart of a wanderer

who wants city streets all to yourself,

walking and holding an umbrella to block

out the sun’s heat, waiting to look at the time

hours later, and then hours more,

feeling no need to look in your phone,

really. Having the kind of heart

that excitedly looks forward to moving

your body outside when there’s light

with the constant craving

for clear land

clear land

clear land,

not wanting to hear much sound

(but birds are okay and, if by the coast,

waves are also okay) is difficult

when living realistically depends

on concrete pavements and tall

and short buildings made from glass

and metal situated so close to each other

that they have a rough time

trying to breathe.

I have the type of heart

that is fine with sidewalks built

across continents connecting everyone

and everything as the world is a modern

one now without a chance of ever being

how it once was at all

because I could comfortably,

while expertly ignoring all noise

around me, take one, two, three,

four, five… and later a hundred

and quickly a hundred more steps.

In reality, though, there are drills,

diggers, and construction tape

all over and, because I have the sort

of heart that wishes I could take

it away and go -

a stone walkway,

a dirt road,

a grassy path, whatever -

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Deborah Kristina

Author of ‘A Girl All Alone Somewhere in the World’, ‘Confessions and Thoughts of a Girl in Turkey’, ‘From Just a Girl Grown Up in America’. (Amazon.com)