Disappointed with the Feminist Movement
I’m disappointed with the feminist movement, in fact, when I’ve met many feminists who’ve accused me of being ‘too passive’, ‘too soft’ and ‘not active enough in fighting for women’s rights’, particularly when some of these women feminists just had to look at my face and ask me if perhaps my parents had me do the housework instead of my brother (the answer is ‘no’. My mother used to shout at my brother to clean up after himself and to be fast about it. My parents have always insisted that both men and women ought to do the same things in life in order to achieve any real change in the world). I’ve also been asked if, because I have an Asian face, I’ve been discouraged from being loud and obnoxious (and these questions came from women’s studies professors) from ‘family pressure’.
Number one, I steadfastly hold opinions of my own; two, I prefer speaking out by writing (as well as other people regardless of race or gender. Geez, there are a lot off quiet men!), and, third, what kind of feminists are these women (there are plenty of male feminists, yes, but all the bad judgments I’ve ever gotten for being my own female have come from women feminists which is why I target them in particular here) when they don’t respect ALL women for being their own people?
I think that putting me down for being introverted and for not bashing men (I tell stories about men who’ve wronged me just to express myself and that’s it); specifically, for not ‘speaking out more’ or ‘proving to men’ that I’m as capable as they are every chance I get. Why would I do that for? I’m only interested in working at my own pace and completing as much as I have the energy for and I’d like to carry on like this without always thinking that men think that I’m not as good as them. This isn’t healthy to keep in mind 24/7. Instead, I like to be myself and get involved with like-minded people. I’m more for everyone respecting people as they are.
I’m quiet. I like to get many hours of sleep. I love walking. I like to write. I like working knowing that I’m helping people. I love history, literature and philosophy. I love listening to people. I like to be physically active. I enjoy being up and about. I strongly believe that everyone deserves to feel that they’re in a safe place.
And I hope that there are men (and women too, let’s not forget that many women oppose women having ambitions and staying active) who simply recognize that I’m not one to obey easily and that I have my own interests and routine.
Many feminists tell me that I’m not vocal enough but I let my way of life do the talking. Another thing is that I’m not one to accuse any group of people for doing anything; how does it make sense to think that every man is against me and for taking my rights away?
Again, if many so-called feminists were really into the fight for women’s rights then why have many of them decided to go against the kind of women they think I am? I think that being a feminist is to support ALL women, whether they’re pro-life or pro-choice, whether they choose to embark on 6-figure careers or be stay-at-home mothers, whether they’re soft, gentle and love makeup or love to play sports and spend time lifting weights at the gym. Being a feminist should mean to help women of disadvantaged positions in society, to help women who don’t speak the local language and are being horribly exploited, to help women who hardly have any formal education, to help women who are abused by one partner after another, as well as helping women who have hit glass ceilings.
I have experienced a lot of jealousy from women instead of getting support. I’ve gotten a lot of disrespect from women who have claimed that they believe in educational and work opportunities for men, women and intersex individuals.
I can’t fathom, and I repeat, why so many women feminists are so uptight about my being silent (yet still powerful; they don’t know nor choose to see that, though) and about my seeing no wrong in women who don’t wish to participate in the workforce (Geez, there are many men who don’t want to be a part of the workforce either) and about my saying that women should have the choice to do as they wish, whether that means dressing modestly or not, or not wishing to pursue a career in STEM (science, technology, engineering, math). Another thing I can’t understand is why many women feminists assume that I’m passive and sneer at me while judging me to be so (and who’s to say that a passive woman isn’t strong? I personally don’t think I’m passive but if I were, there wouldn’t be anything problematic because a lot of passive women have high tolerance and the energy to get up and work every day; they’re powerful in their own way.
Being a strong woman isn’t only to talk and laugh loudly and to prove that a woman can carry as much weight as a man. I feel that a lot of feminists need to rethink their idea on what a woman is. Feminists can do a lot better in initiating a way to help women who have been forced to marry early, who are beaten and chided by male family members and threatened with murder, who don’t have the means to leave unbearably, horrendous husbands, and to think well of women of color for once, instead of thinking, from my personal experience, that I’m not worth discussing feminism with because I’m of Asian descent and/or not ‘mean’ enough.
I see a lot of need in a feminist movement and feminist groups to exist but I don’t feel that many feminists are open-minded enough, nor care enough, nor even think highly of ALL women enough (including trans women). I even see many in the feminist movement as being just in another sort of club where only exclusive membership applies.
If feminists in the women’s marches really want to see all women with brighter futures, then I suggest that a lot of these feminists stop stereotyping me because I’m of Chinese descent and female, and like to keep my skin and hair nice, and prefer to listen rather than speak. I’d appreciate being treated as a woman who also matters.
Women everywhere including those who know nothing of any feminist movement and those who think women shouldn’t take certain jobs such as leadership positions matter too.
The feminist movement should be about informing everyone in the world about the importance of quality of life for women as well as men, and for supporting the freedom for all women to choose to be as they wish to be, and, most of all, the movement is about insisting on the unwavering respect for women as important contributors to society in their own ways as men are and of being as of much value as men.
