Member-only story
I Can’t
I don’t feel like accepting ‘can’t’ when knowing how much it costs to take classes at the community college and paying all the bills myself. However, while I wish for better living conditions and getting rejection after rejection from one employer after another on my application, I don’t plan on studying for a second Master’s degree as I’m afraid of debt very much.
I fear getting a job that would only help me survive and not have anything left to do something fun.
I don’t want to have to accept ‘can’t’ when assessing my current situation but inflation has taken bigger bites recently and my job search history has told me that getting a job that adequately pays more than making me a little comfortable is nearly impossible that I have lived with telling myself that I ‘can’t’ years ago.
I’m a huge coward; I am reluctant to struggle. What I fear most is failing and everyone knowing about it. I don’t want to try and fail many times and everyone I know talking badly about me behind my back. I honestly also don’t have the patience to toil away at a job or two and wait years to level up.
In fact, I don’t see myself ever getting promoted or even getting raises. To be honest, I’ve read job posting after job posting and I don’t think I can work in any o f the jobs that I’ve read about for even two years. I keep telling myself, “What would be the point of working…
