I Have Found I Am Not One Of Those

Deborah Kristina
2 min readNov 20, 2022
Unsplash — Ian Schneider

I don’t know what it is about being in bed with someone and expecting it to mean something, especially when I text the person to tell him about all that I care about and what has hurt me in my life.

I am the type that can’t have ‘fun and casual’ sex.

Even friendships have to be meaningful for me.

When I invite someone to handle my body intimately, I expect that person to love me and I don’t think this makes me lame.

I don’t only expect respect and compassion. I expect that person to value me enough to propose to me.

I’m the sort that will open up my body to someone who intends to be close to me for life.

I am sensitive when it comes to a man sharing his thoughts and feelings with me. When a man shares a photo of one of his family members, I take it seriously and take it to mean that he trusts me.

Small things and gestures are a big deal to me.

A hand over mine is huge to me, as well as a cup of tea or coffee prepared for me, seeing one of my favorite snack brands in the cupboard, noticing a single rose lying on my desk, and one text conversation that flows for hours.

I hold such actions dearly.



Deborah Kristina

Author of ‘A Girl All Alone Somewhere in the World’, ‘Confessions and Thoughts of a Girl in Turkey’, ‘From Just a Girl Grown Up in America’. (Amazon.com)