Naivete and Knowledge
I would like to make this a habit: When I am aware that there is something I don’t know, or when there’s something that I would like to know more about, then I should learn about it.
I feel inspired by those individuals who choose to mistreat me because they assume I am naive when I admit that I don’t know something. I’m honest and I would like to reveal that I don’t know how to technically talk about sports (though, I love watching sports except golf and baseball). I only know about sports on the surface, not intimately. I don’t follow world politics closely every day. I also have only some inklings about historical world events. I don’t know the difference between car model types. I don’t know much about the world economy; I don’t know how rates fall and increase; I don’t know what rates depend on. I don’t know the minimum amount of money one needs if they live anywhere in the US (everyone has different needs and wants, some care for only themselves and others have dependents, and the cost of living is different everywhere and every community and type of housing is different).
I don’t know much about the use of various household appliances (my family used a blender only twice that I clearly recall, we hardly used a toaster at all, we never used an oven when I was growing up, my mother only ever used cake mix when she used to make a cake just about once a year so I hardly saw an electronic hand mixer (and my mother used the stove-top to get the cake mix to rise), we didn’t have a bottle opener not a spatula nor a grater not a rolling pin not a humidifier nor any such large collection of metal and wooden utensils. There was no microwave oven either. There was no corkscrew though I am aware that my father bought one not long ago because he likes to keep a bottle of red wine at home nowadays. There was never any washing machine much less a dryer in my home growing up (and my parents still don’t have any) nor did we ever have a dishwasher. My house was small and often cold but it was enough to live in. I do have a bit of a domestic side in me meaning that I like to spend time reading at home and it doesn’t mean that I am into decorating my living space. In fact, going to home goods stores doesn’t hold my interest.
I admit that I don’t know how to light a match. I can’t whistle, can’t do a somersault, can’t snap my fingers, can’t wink well. I am useless at doing household repairs. I don’t know how to use a boiler at times. I don’t remember how to interpret numbers on the meter that shows how much electricity I use every day (anything having to do with numbers baffles me). I don’t know how to use a lighter. I don’t have any survival skills. I don’t tie knots well. I don’t have much idea about cooking. I have been using a computer since I was a teen and I still don’t know how to type with ten fingers. I don’t know much about different insurance. I don’t know much about any law. I don’t know how to do a lot of things nor do I know much about a lot. I have only recently started using online banking and learning my way around the website. I have hardly written checks and have only bought one cashier’s check and I have only seen traveler’s checks once when I worked at a gift shop. I still have a lot to know about functioning in the real world at nearly 30.
Having knowledge doesn’t mean one knows about life though. I don’t have much background information on most topics but I know something about life that I avoid certain encounters and I am not easily manipulated nowadays. I’m not well-informed nor a well-read person and it’s okay.
Not having taken out a loan or mortgage may mean that one doesn’t desire to buy or start anything big or one knows that they won’t have sufficient funds to pay off such things; not having had much experience paying bills may mean that one has been living with people for assistance as one may go through a hard time or one has been homeless for long periods; not having used a credit card much may mean that one doesn’t have a good credit rating so may choose to stop using one or one knows that they may not be able to pay off the bill; none of this means that one is naive.
My mother spends most of her time working at a factory, sitting at a table alone. Working and earning money is a big part of being able to participate int he world but she has only worked. She has hardly stood in line to pay for groceries, she’s never opened a bank account herself, she’s never filled out a check herself, she’s never paid a single bill herself (though it’s her money that’s helping to pay the bills), she’s never used a credit card herself, she’s never bought a single thing herself, she’s never done an errand (even something like putting a letter in a mailbox), she’s hardly talked to anyone in public (and in Boston, there are services provided in Cantonese for sure; the Chinese-American community is so big in Boston that many Chinese residents get away with not being even proficient in English [and I mean the older generations mostly]); she’s hardly made a doctor’s appointment herself (again, since the Chinese community is big, there are many Chinese doctors to serve the community) nor has she ever spoken to a customer service representative in the phone (okay, it’s hard to access a Cantonese speaker through the phone but I and my father have dealt with the stress of being put on hold and being transferred to different customer service reps and have gotten pretty upset with many of them that I think my mother ought to feel grateful for not having had such an experience in all of her nearly 55 years); she also doesn’t know where many important and well-known locations are in Boston much less how to get there.
Despite her lack of dealing with anyone and anything outside of her work and living spaces, I don’t perceive my mother as naive. She’s not knowledgeable about how to function at all in society but I perceive this as her choosing not to learn how to function. She has worked and earned money but working and earning money doesn’t always mean one becomes street-smart and well-informed. Thankfully, growing up, my father has worked and dealt with what my mother has never had to do and I used to wish my mother didn’t underestimate all of the errands my father did. Without all that my father has done outside of his job, my family wouldn’t have had anything. My mother could work all she wanted when I was growing up but if no one actually paid the bills (my mother still doesn’t know how to go about doing this) then living was going to be hard. Outside of working, my mother is honestly completely clueless as to what to do at all if my father didn’t exist. My father dropped her off to go to a Chinese pharmacy and when she was disoriented and went into Chinese cafe, my father had to open his window to direct her to the pharmacy. Even I knew where the pharmacy was because there were English words as well as Chinese characters and I had been in that area many times.
Still, my mother’s work ethic is phenomenal and I say again that I don’t think she’s naive. I feel that she doesn’t want anything to do with people. People cause her great discomfort and disappointment. This is a conscious decision that certainly puts anyone who makes such a decision at a great disadvantage. No one knows anything about anyone’s story. No one deserves to be looked down upon for not knowing any certain thing. In the end, as I always say, what matters is if one has good character and not only knows what is right from wrong but does right at least most of the time. I don’t look down on my mother for being the way she is. I certainly don’t look down on anyone else for not knowing any particular thing. Actually, I don’t even perceive naivete as a bad quality in terms of how an inexperienced person treats someone. A lot of naive people are kind. It’s a negative quality in that the person may be easily exploited. Looking down on anyone just isn’t right. I say all of this specifically to all the people who underestimate me without knowing me fully. I will always ask that everyone shouldn’t think that anyone is ‘not as anything’ and treat them as such. I would like to add that my mother calls herself stupid when she’s frustrated and I never like to hear her say that about herself; not knowing how to live in the world doesn’t make anyone stupid in my book. I see her as hurt, disappointed and disadvantaged and sad but not naive not stupid. I know that people have simply given her a hard time and her reaction is to not take part in the world much. Her strength is she has accomplished a lot in her work. I tell her not to call herself stupid.
If anyone knew each other better, we would see each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Not one of us in the world can claim that we are familiar with everything. Not one if us can say that we know what to do in any given situation as none of us has experienced all there is to possibly experience.
