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Of Course, I Feel Defensive
As an American of East Asian descent, I can’t help but feel that, when I’m talking outside and someone walks by me or near me and coughs, that person resents me in some way because of COVID existing now.
Maybe it’s coincidental when some cough or spit on the ground when I appear.
Am I thinking too much when I wonder why one spits on the ground when I appear when others have walked by that person?
Or when some cough when I happen to show up and others have passed by already?
Do I simmer in anger inside for nothing when these occasions happen?
Once, on an early morning walk, a young man walked towards me and coughed and walked in the other direction and, while he didn’t cough close to me, I felt upset and turned around and caught up to that guy and yelled, “Don’t cough at me!”
He turned out not to understand what I said and was flustered and responded in a French accent, “I don’t understand. I don’t understand”.
My anger slowly dissipated but I was frustrated anyway.
He took his phone out in order to have me translate what I said and upon seeing him take his phone out to do so, I stalked off but not without screaming, “You coughed at me!”
