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Who Would Ever Give Me the Time of Day?
Honestly, messaging people tires me out.
More than ten years ago, I used to want to have someone to text to or email with daily.
Over the years, I’ve gotten tired of waiting for people to show up for cups of coffee or telling me that they couldn’t make it to something.
I’m tired of pretending to be cheerful.
Maybe I just don’t want to expect texts and emails anymore.
At this time, I don’t feel like spending minutes wondering if I’ve said something wrong if I didn’t hear from someone for days.
More often now, I find myself drifting from one brief chat to another.
I don’t feel like counting on small talk to lead to anything more.
I’ve let go of hoping that approaching a friendly face and talking can result in long-lasting friendship.
Maybe I shouldn’t expect to be understood. Maybe it’s possible to call someone a friend and not be understood.
I used to think that I wanted a few deep friendships.
I know that ‘deep’ is relative. What is ‘deep’?
After pouring out my thoughts to people, I’ve realized that perhaps no one will ever understand me.
